Here's a real-life example of a "Convenient Relationship" with a rather poor prognosis...
DEAR DR. TRACY
I've been living with a recently-divorced man who is emotionally withholding for the past year and a half. He's often moody and uncommunicative, not only with me, but with everyone.
Of course, there are times when we enjoy ourselves together, but for the most part, we seem to have more differences than similarities. I am outgoing, like to be around people and just truly like to live life and have "fun." He says that he loves me and that he wants to make this work, but it seems as though I'm the one doing all the compromising. How can we make this work, or does it sound hopeless?
DEAR MOODY MAN'S LOVER,
Opposites do attract, so I'm less concerned about your differences than his non-communication. This man probably was a withholding husband when he was married, and he'll probably be the same with you. If you're tired of working on him now, think how tired you'll be after twenty years of marriage.
If you want to try, though, you've got to lay down the law: good communication is essential to a good relationship, and you expect him to work on this problem. Keep asking him how he feels. Set a time aside for the two of you to talk about your day and how you are feeling. Praise him when he does express his feelings. Reward him with hugs and kisses. Touch him a lot.
When he's moody, don't reward his bad behavior. Instead, ignore him. Or better yet, go out and have a good time. Be sure to have a group of friends who supply what your lover does not -- lots of fun. Don't compromise by giving up all your good times; you'll only resent him for it.
He may progress a little and eventually you may get more intimacy out of him. You may be able to change his behavior in private, but he'll probably always be the same tightass in public. If he doesn't open up at all in private, you really should ask yourself why you're staying in a relationship which brings you so little joy.
If you're still not sure about your relationship, read "`Convenient' Relationships". If you decide the relationship can be saved, all of the articles in my Library can help you, starting with "Why People Love". If you decide it can't be saved, read "Ending It" and "Letting Go".