Worn down by a string of go-nowhere relationships and tired of being
alone? Don't be discouraged. Anyone can get a good love relationship by
following my guidelines. They require time, effort, and a little mental
discipline, but if you follow them, they absolutely will work for you.
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1. CHOOSE INTELLIGENTLY
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Even guys, who traditionally make the first move, will respond to a woman
who makes a pass at them. Admit it, whether you're a man or a woman, if
someone cute flirts with you, you tend to react with your hormones instead
of your head. So get out of hormone-response mode and start doing the choosing
based on some criteria you've established in more thoughtful moments. You're
not sure what your criteria might be? That's OK; everyone has preferences,
and if you start making a list, you'll be surprised at how it helps focus
you on real prospects instead of time-wasting flings. (See "Developing
Realistic Criteria")
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2. INCREASE THE QUANTITY OF ELEGIBLE PEOPLE YOU MEET
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Sorry, there's no way to totally avoid "the dating scene." Increasing your
odds of finding Mr. or Ms. Right requires both being more selective and
meeting more "possibles." Whatever you're doing now to meet people, I'm
sure you can find new ways to meet more (see "Are
You Looking Or Waiting?"). Sure, it's time-consuming, and sure, a lot
of the "possibles" will turn out to be turkeys, but meeting a couple of
new people per week will add excitement to your life. And it will add to
your allure. Remember, no one wants to eat at a restaurant with an empty
parking lot.
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3. CHOOSE ONLY FROM THOSE WHO WANT YOU
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One-sided love is masochistic. If you're short and dark-haired and you
meet someone who always wanted a tall blonde, say goodbye. Find someone
whose fantasy you fill. But how do you get someone to tell you their fantasy
mate? Isn't that impossible? No. It's actually quite simple. (See "When
Love Happens Easily".)
I know, we were all brought up to believe that you can't "make"
Love happen; Mr. or Ms. Right will somehow drop out of the blue. It's a
wonderful myth, all bundled up with Cinderella and Camelot, and it quite
conveniently appeals to our laziness.
Every single person harbors an "Out of the Blue" fantasy, usually
some version of what Hollywood calls the "Cute Meet": Tom Cruise or Sharon
Stone bumps their shopping cart into yours, down comes the cereal display,
your eyes meet as you're picking up the Puffed Kashi, and you both live
happily ever after...
Can you set aside your favorite "Out of the Blue" fantasy for
awhile? If not, it's OK, I understand, and you'll still get lots of helpful
hints from this Section of my Library. But if you can, and you follow my
Guidelines, I'll have you in a solid, loving relationship within a year.